He shines so brightly, sometimes I had to cover my eyes with my hand to prevent the light from blinding me. And yes, it is painful sometimes. Yet there are days when my sights blissfully enjoy the view infront of me, the God-made marvel in form of a young man.
He was a rainbow, a prince gladfully opened up is arm and smile and say what is on his mind. Or he was a pile of polutionless snow, gathering outside the window on a cold Christmas Eve. A silent coldness that keeps you attracted to, a dance of a fairy. A dream too livid to be called one.
I grieve in my condition, being the humble girl that I am, trying to catch something ahead of me... Yet love does not supposed to make you weak. To love someone should make yourself stronger, standing firmly on your own two feet.
But it was not his fault... it was my own insecurities to deal with, my own issues to struggle in...
And yes I do have low self-esteem. On facing a person with great lights. On facing the person I adore, so much that I cannot even speak properly... (and looked stupid. And screwed things up. And felt even worse)
It pains the heart to see him, laughing happily with other girls... and it is just never happened to me, only in some brief, able-to-be-counted-in-one-hand amount of moments... for he does not know me that much yet... or it was me who was too reluctant to let him know my true colours... (it felt horrible)
The tremblings of the hands, the reluctant of one self, the freezing and mispelling of the tongue... they are meant to deal with, a struggle being carried on by a simple girl, trying hard to achieve great things. She is only trying to know her own self, and maybe to have hope or two...
For in her weakness ad fears and pain, she is indeed trying...
Catching the glimpse of the lights she longed for...
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