"Are you sure about this?"
The question was popped out by Santi via SMS. She was asking in order to confirm my involvement in the next debating tournament -it was on a pending status since last night.
And my answer was 'yes'. Yes, I'm not going to join the upcoming tournament.
Very unlikely, huh? I know it really doesn't sound like Anisa Menur to actually reconsider her involvement, and in the end, turned down a debating competition. But some things should go on a certain way.
I have decided that for this moment, I would like to focus more on my study -on my Hanzi scribbling, on endless lists of Asiapac books. it was all because of the result of my first semester; it was not bad for a first time, 2.77. But i don't think it was my best result. I mean, the effort was not really that great, I was still in my adaptating process. And most of all, I believe that I can give better than that. I'm pretty optimistic that I can actually reach 3,00. especially since now I'm beginning to adapt, and the subjects are more interesting. and i don't think i can juggle it late night TCs and endless casebuilding, at least for now.
And yes I do have a life outside debating. Sometimes after a month full of TCs and a huge competitons in other town, you're going to get a bit tired. and tired enough to directly continue into another.
and as a person, i think i should also consider the 'want' factor, alongside with the 'should' factor. I mean, later these days, when i'm thinking of doing activities,or planning to join an organization, i did it because i have to, because i need it for my future, for my self-empowerment. But i have forgotten that i did it because i also love this activity, because i actually enjoy this activity. this is a concept that i have forgotten for a while, and now, before it's too late, i want to get back to the most basic reason to do so -because i enjoy it.
Hm.....I remember some words from Nirwan during those hectic FT prep days........
"Those plans for your future, that's good. But don't forget to enjoy yourself. To enjoy every minute you have in this campus......."
Ah seniors. You learn a lot from them.
Hm. wonder why Sony also chose not to join this competition?